OK, I admit I had another wild dream, but once again I
feel there is a lesson to be learned here, so please bear with me!
I rushed toward a large igloo-shaped structure where I
was going to take the most important test of all time. I’m a graduate of
Princeton University and Cornell Medical School and have had interviews at other
prestigious universities and for jobs around the country, so I realize all that
can hinge on a brief performance situation, but this was different.
What made this test so unusual was that I didn’t know
what the anticipated outcome would be if I passed or if I failed – all I knew
was that I had to pass no matter what. Even worse, I had no idea what the test
parameters or criteria were, just that I had to convince whoever was making the
final decision to choose me.
A long line of applicants wound tightly around the huge
dome, and as I raced toward the end of the line, I arrived there at the same
time as, or, more honestly, a split second after, another applicant. We both
jockeyed for position, and even though I knew she really had arrived first, I
pushed ahead of her, due to my sense that time was of the essence.
But surprisingly, the line was moving at lightning speed,
and within moments I was inside the dome. There were many displays set up,
which appeared to be miniature dioramas depicting battles and other world
events, although I didn’t understand their significance. There were also
writings in arcane languages I couldn’t read, and I was baffled as to what I
was supposed to do next.
“Do you know how much time we have?” another applicant
asked me anxiously.
“No, but it’s probably not going to be enough, so there’s
no sense in wasting it on pointless discussions,” I replied rudely.
Still having no idea what I was supposed to do, I assumed
that I should write a report on the exhibits, but there was no paper. I asked the
proctor if he had any, and he handed me a tiny slip of lined paper that would
barely hold a few words, along with a large stack of other materials. These
included draftsman’s tools (a T-square and a right-angle triangle), a score to
the opera La Traviata, and a large,
gaudy, sequined applique decoration.
Of course, these additional materials did nothing to
clarify the task at hand. I was now hopelessly confused and despondent of ever
achieving the desired result, and tried to make the best of a dismal situation.
The paper was far too small for me to write an essay or even the simplest of
observations. I am terrible at drawing and don’t know how to make blueprints,
so I knew I couldn’t use the drafting tools to impress the examiner with my
abilities. I don’t read Italian, and although I enjoy singing, I doubt I could
do justice to any of the arias in the La Traviata
score.
Which left the big, tacky, sparkling applique decoration.
True, it didn’t really belong to me, but maybe I could use it to adorn a dance
costume, and the proctor hadn’t specifically said not to take the test
materials out of the building, I rationalized, so what would be the harm in keeping
it?
Suddenly it hit me how miserably I had failed. The test
was not about my answers, or
essay, or artwork, or singing, or about my performance at all – at least not in
terms of how the world measures success. The test had served to prove what a
terrible person I am, one unworthy of any special position or consideration.
First, I had put my own
needs ahead of those of another, even though she rightly deserved to go ahead
of me. Then I was rude and mean-spirited to someone who needed my help and
encouragement. Finally, I had falsely justified stealing something that wasn’t
mine.
I awoke in a panic, the
motor of my mind racing at breakneck speed. But then I felt an all-forgiving
sense of peace and acceptance as I felt the loving embrace of Jesus.
“I came to seek and save that which was lost; to bring not
the righteous, but sinners to repentance,” I imagined Him saying (Luke 19:10 5:32). He did
it all, the perfect sacrifice for our sins, dying on the cross to reconcile
sinners to His Holy Father, and rising again so that all who place their faith
in Him as their Lord and Savior have eternal life (John 3:16; 1
Corinthians 15).
No one can pass the test, for we are all sinners
deserving eternal punishment in hell (Romans
3:10, 23). Our limited human minds can’t even bend around the idea of
what that would be like, in all its horror (Mark
9:43-48), or what wonderful blessings Our Father has planned in Heaven
for those who love Him (1 Corinthians
2:9). How tragic it is that the lost don’t even realize the stakes
involved, or know how to be sure they can spend eternity in Heaven.
As we enter the dome of this world for our all-too-brief
stay (James 4:14), there are
many opportunities to excel, bringing the world’s admiration for our
accomplishments, or glory to God (1
Corinthians 10:31), depending on our motives (1 Corinthians 3:8-15). We operate from our little corner of
the universe, watching world events unfold throughout history without
any true understanding.
But what the Bible makes clear is that none of us can
perform well enough or do sufficient good works to earn our way to Heaven, because
our righteousness is as filthy rags beside His pure holiness (Isaiah 64:6). We are saved by His
grace through faith, not by our works (Ephesians
2:8-9).
The T-square in the dream reminded me of the cross, where
Jesus said “It is finished,” (John 19:30)
as He alone accomplished His saving work to reconcile us to God (2 Corinthians 5:18-19; Hebrews 2:17).
And the triangle reminded me of the Trinity, as well as of the relationships that God commands us to have. If we imagine ourselves at the right angle of the
triangle, we are to love Him (extending upward in the vertical direction of the
triangle), and to love one another (extending outward in the horizontal
direction of the triangle; Luke 10:27)
Due to our sin nature, we sometimes turn our attention
not to heavenly things such as the cross or the Trinity, but we let our minds
and hearts drift to the glittery, yet eternally insignificant, baubles the
world provides (Romans 12:2;; Matthew
6:19-25). Even worse, we may resort to stealing, hurting other people, or other
sinful means to get what we think we want, when the best and perfect gifts (James 1:17) of His grace (Ephesians 2:8; 2 Timothy 1:9)
and wisdom (James 1:5) are
freely available to all His children.
Time is short, and we will meet with temptation along the
way. Interestingly, I just searched Google and learned that the name “La Traviata” means “The Fallen Woman” or
“The Woman Who Goes Astray.” God always provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13), but sadly,
we don’t always take it. Yet when we fail, praise God that the shed blood of
His Son washes away our sins (John 1:29),
and that when God looks at us He sees not our sins, but the perfect
righteousness of His Son! (Romans 4)
The true test is not our own qualificatiions or how well
we can perform on our own, for without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). But when we come to
the end of ourselves and realize that we are sinners in need of a Savior (Romans 3:23), and that He is the
only way to Heaven (John 14:6),
He immediately accepts us and grants us entry! He transforms us from His
enemies to His children, joint heirs with Christ, and His ambassadors! (Romans 8:16-18; 2 Corinthians 5:20)
The true test is how we answer His question, “Do you love
Me?” (John 21:15-17)
© 2012 Laurie Collett
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