Saturday, May 9, 2020

Remembering “Baba” – A Proverbs 31 Grandmother

May we all have a blessed Mother's Day, remembering and giving thanks for all the women in our lives who have inspired, encouraged, supported and loved us. For me, that includes all of you ladies, and especially Baba, my grandmother! Hope you enjoy this repost from the archives.

Marya, my mother's mother, was born in a small village near Kiev, Ukraine. As a young girl and teen she was said to be the best folk dancer in her village! Judging from the lavishly decorated, traditional tea towels, aprons and blouses she made and my mother still had decades later, she was also a talented and creative artist. As a special treat on rainy days in childhood, I was allowed to open the steamer trunk containing these linens, their once bright red and purple embroidery faded to maroon and tan, yet still rich in their intricate designs.

When she was 16, Marya fell in love and emigrated to Canada with her husband, a mining engineer, leaving her family and country and following him with the faithfulness of Ruth (1:16-17). They had a hard life in blustery Nova Scotia, and although she gave birth to 10 children, including three sets of twins, my mother was the only one who survived past infancy. The others died from pneumonia or other infections, as antibiotics were not yet available. 

Her husband died suddenly when he was 35, probably from a brain aneurysm, two weeks after telling her that he would die soon because he had seen Jesus. Yet she was faithful to God through it all, praying to Jesus, drawing strength from her faith in Him, and serving Him even in the trials (1 Thessalonians 3:8; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 12:1; Galatians 6:9: Psalm 27:13).  

Although she had never learned to read, write, or speak much English, Marya and my mother moved to New York City shortly thereafter. Marya worked very hard in a bakery in the lower East Side, and became an active and loyal member in the sisterhood of the local Russian Orthodox church. Although she made hardly any money, she scrimped and saved to fund the purchase of a beautiful, full wall mural of Ruth gleaning in Boaz' field (Ruth 2:8) for her church. Her humble home was always open for hospitality, and she was always ready to give generously to those in need (Luke 6:38; Philippians 4:15-19; Mark 9:41; Matthew 6:20). 

When my mother married, she moved to a small town in Pennsylvania where my dad worked. Seven years later, when I was born, my parents invited my grandmother to come live with her in the new house they were building so she could help raise me. Imagine their surprise when they went to pick her up at the train station and she was carrying an unassuming satchel containing $10,000 in small bills -- nearly a fortune in those days -- to help with the down payment on the house!

While awaiting my arrival, she cooked, cleaned, and made a huge pair of down-filled pillows for my parents, complete with crocheted-trim linen pillowcases! 

When I learned to speak, I called her “Baba,” the Ukrainian pet term for grandmother, or old woman (“babushka”). She did so much more than help to raise me -- she was a great role model of faith and prayer (Philippians 4:13; Colossians 1:27; 1 Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 119:10-11). One of my earliest memories is seeing and hearing her pray out loud in her bedroom, where she kept a framed picture of the Last Supper by a portrait of her husband, and singing the Russian version of “Come, Thou Almighty King.” She was not afraid to discipline me in love when I needed it (Proverbs 22:67; 29:15; 13:20). 

One winter vacation in the then-small town of Hollywood, FL, when I was six, Baba spotted a couple of vacant lots in the middle of nowhere and insisted she wanted to buy them "to pay for Laurie's education." Despite the concerned, well-meant advice of my parents, she went ahead and purchased these lots for a song. Ultimately, when Hollywood became a busy and popular tourist destination, proceeds of those lots paid in full for my medical school education! 

While leaving me this inheritance, she left me far more -- her shining example of faith and love that can't be measured by worldly standards of education, income and position. Not to mention my penchant for dance and for real estate! When, as a 14-year-old, I helped to care for her in the end stages of stroke and Alzheimer's, she inspired me to pursue a career in medicine, specifically in neurology and in dementia research. 

Decades after her death, I trusted in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, by His grace through my faith in His death, burial and resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:1-4) as the only Way to Heaven (John 14:6). No doubt my heart had been softened to the Gospel by her example of faith, love and prayer.

Marya was a true Proverbs 31 woman who blessed her children, her husband, and all those in her household, community, and sphere of influence (v. 12). She was virtuous (v. 10), faithful (v. 11), hard-working (v. 13-16, v. 27), morally and physically strong (v. 17), generous and charitable (v. 20), She had a realistic opinion about herself (v. 18), provided for her family through her hard work and planning (v. 21, 24), and enhanced the reputation of her husband (v. 23). She was kind, speaking the truth in love (v. 26). 

How can we become a Proverbs 31 woman, whose family and community recognize that the blessings she gives them are priceless? (v.10, 28, 29). Not by relying on our social skills or our physical charms, but by fearing the Lord – by putting His will for our life ahead of all else (v.30; Matthew 6:33; Mark 10:29-30; Philippians 3:8-11). 

May we respect, honor (Exodus 20:12) and cherish our mothers, grandmothers and sisters, by blood or in Christ, while they are yet with us, and may we learn from their Godly legacy of faith, sacrificial love, and service (Proverbs 22:6;6:20; 29: 15; 1 Timothy 5: 5; 2 Timothy 1:5-6; Psalm 103:17). May they inspire us to give such an example and leave such a legacy for those following us! 

© 2013 Laurie Collett
Edited and reposted from the archives

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Womanhood With Purpose


Brenda said...

Laurie, what an absolutely beautiful story about your grandmother, there is so much contained in what you have shared that I think a book should be made about it. My husband and myself have been to several eastern block countries but not the Ukraine, we loved it there. I also learned the Russian language for two years, but not enough to achieve fulfilment.
Sorry I have been late in reading your previous post, I think you are much more organised than me:-)
God bless you for sharing your encouraging posts.

Frank E. Blasi said...

Dear Laurie,
Here in the UK, Mothering Sunday is around the middle of March and Father's Day is in June. It looks as if in the USA you have different dates for these special days.
I recall reading one of your blogs about Ruth, and I was wondering whether I was reading it again, or at least part of it.
However, as always, you put forward the main point that honouring our parents is one of the commandments delivered at Mt Sinai, therefore very important in the Christian's walk with God. And so is a generous wife an honour to her husband.
Wishing you both a good week ahead. God bless.

Laurie Collett said...

Hi Brenda,
I'm blessed to hear that you enjoyed the post! Thank you for the encouragement to expand on this story -- something I will prayerfully consider. My husband and I were considering a vacation to Croatia with our son and daughter in law, but sadly, we had to postpone it, and now with the pandemic it looks like it will be quite some time before we are able to travel anywhere. The pictures we saw from there suggest it is spectacularly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your encouragement and God bless,

Laurie Collett said...

Dear Frank,
Yes, I have written and taught on the book of Ruth before, and wrote a post drawing parallels between Ruth's life and that of my grandmother. Honoring our parents certainly is important, as it was the only Commandment attached to the promise of long life. It was not just part of the Law, for both Jesus and Paul stressed its importance.
Thank you as always for your thoughtful comments and insights and God bless,

Unknown said...

I read this before and am so glad you posted so I could read it again. Such an amazing story and what a great legacy she has left. My family is reaping the benefits of God's faithfulness to you. We are so glad you are in our family.

Donald Fishgrab said...

Great post, Laurie.

what a tremendous example of the impact a godly life can have on our family and friends.

Laurie Collett said...

Dear Jeanne,
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. We are so blessed that God united our families through marriage. We couldn't imagine a better soulmate for our son, and we know that she reflects her Godly upbringing.
Love and prayers, and may we be able to safely get together soon!

Laurie Collett said...

Thanks, Donald! May we be good stewards and be found faithful by those who follow after us. God bless,