Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dolls, or Friends?

When I was a little girl, I spent hours playing with dolls. For me, it wasn’t so much about dressing them up in pretty clothes or taking care of a baby doll – it was about creating drama. I loved making up intricate plots of adventures, mysteries, relationships and intrigue in different historical periods or even in the future, and in exotic locales. When I ran out of three-dimensional dolls to play the many characters in these ongoing narratives, I switched to paper dolls, often using figures from four or five paper doll books to take part in the same story.

The beauty of this type of play was that the dolls were willing subjects in whatever fantasy world I envisioned. I was the master of their universe. They wore the clothes and assumed the identity of the characters I created for them; they spoke the dialogue I wrote; and they had the feelings and reactions I thought appropriate for the relationships and situations in which I placed them.

But the downside of playing with dolls is that they have no life of their own. They could never surprise me, and I had no real affection, or indeed any feelings, for them, because they were under my complete control and incapable of doing anything other than what I made them do.

“Chatty Cathy” was a popular doll during my childhood, as you could pull a string on her neck and she would randomly say one of several prerecorded phrases. I never wanted one of these dolls, as her inane comments paled in comparison to the sophisticated conversations I preferred for my dolls. Yet despite the cleverness of the repartee I invented for these characters, it never enlightened, informed or touched me, as it came solely from my own mind.

In works of fiction we sometimes see dolls or toys coming to life, as in the Nutcracker Ballet. More often, these are horror stories, like Bride of Chucky, as we would perceive any independence coming from a doll as originating from a demonic spirit.

Then I grew older and realized it was time to put aside childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11). (I admit to still having a doll collection, but not to playing with it!). Instead of dolls, I had friends – long before the days of Facebook, texting, or BFFs. In this brave new world, I was often surprised, amused, or puzzled by how my friends reacted to what I said or did. Sometimes I was hurt by their indifference, rejection, or betrayal, yet often I was touched by their loyalty, kindness, and generosity.

What an amazing feeling when a classmate you admire says she would like to be your friend! The spontaneity and freedom classmates had in choosing to spend time with me and to be called my friend brought me incredible joy, as I knew they could have chosen otherwise. Those friendships are a source of strength to this very day, and I am thankful for wisdom gained from lessons learned with those friends and from their positive influences on my life.

Unlike dolls, friends cannot be controlled. We can influence one another for good (Proverbs 27:17), as Jonathan did to David (1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:2-6), or for evil, as Jonadab did to Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-22). But “friends” can and do ultimately choose to love (Proverbs 17:17), ignore or hate us (Job 16:20; 19:19; Psalm 41:9). Despite all our best advice and love for them (Proverbs 27:9-10), they can choose to do what we think is best for them, to disregard the benefit of our wisdom, or to openly defy us (Deuteronomy 13:6; Job 6:27; 32:3; Jeremiah 19:9).

Reminiscing about dolls and friends made me think about how God regards us. He created us for His good pleasure (Ephesians 1:5,9; Philippians 2:13; 2 Thessalonians 1:11), in a way like a toymaker designs dolls to delight little girls. And yet, we are so blessed that He created us not to be like dolls, but rather to be His friends! (Exodus 33:11; 2 Chronicles 20:7; Song of Solomon 5:16; Matthew 11:19; Luke 12:4; James 2:23).

He not only desires fellowship with us (1 Corinthians 1:9; Philippians 2:1; 3:10; 1 John 1:3,6-7), but He loved us first (1 John 4:19), while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), enemies (Romans 5:10; James 4:4), and children of the devil (1 John 3:10). He is the Friend Who sticks closer to us than even a brother (Proverbs 18:24),

Even when we ignore, disobey, or defy Him, He is loyal, faithful and true (Deuteronomy 7:9; Psalm 89:8; Isaiah 25:1; etc.). He created us not to be His servants, but His friends, entrusted with the wisdom the Father gave to His Son. There is no greater love than His for His friends, because He died to save us (John 15:13-15).

God created mankind in His own image (Genesis 1:27). Just as He has a Triune nature, we therefore do too. We have not only a physical body, like the one Jesus had when He came to earth in human flesh (John 1:14) as Emmanuel, meaning God with us (Matthew 1:23), but a soul and spirit, giving us our unique personality, desires and talents.

Because God created us with the potential to be His friends, He gave us free will to make choices, whether for good or for bad. No matter how realistic in appearance, or how many phrases a doll can recite if you push a button, or how many preprogrammed actions a robot can carry out, they lack the ability to make decisions.

God, Who is all-powerful and infinitely wise (Psalm 139), could have guaranteed that we would always serve Him, pray to Him, witness for Him, and never sin. Had He done that, though, we could not be His friends, but only His playthings.

Instead He created mankind with free will and with the capacity for choice and creative thought, which is why He could assign to Adam the challenge of naming all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20). With free will, however, comes the capacity for sin. Despite the wonderful fellowship Adam and Eve enjoyed with their Creator in the Paradise of Eden, they chose to disobey His commandment and to eat the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3:6).

When Adam and Eve sinned, they had to face the personal consequences of that choice, namely loss of innocence and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. But even worse, their sin brought the curse of sin and death on all mankind (Genesis 3:7-24).

How amazing that the Creator of all designed us to seek Him, so that we could be blessed by fellowship with Him as His friends, created for His good pleasure! May we wisely exercise our free will with every choice we make, yielding to the Holy Spirit within, and not to our old sin nature! 

© 2014 Laurie Collett
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Anonymous said...

He indeed created us and gave us free will because he loves each and every one of us.

Nadwrażliwiec said...

When I was little girl, I prefered playing with figures of animals or... Life animals (we had dogs and later I had aquarium). I was really interested in biological topics.
Yes, I agree that we can be friends of God. Sometimes, when I think about all disadvantages of living in big city, when some people tell me unpleasant words, I also think, that God is my real friend.
Greetings from almost autumn south Poland :) said...

True friendship is god breathed. And His breath is life. I love dolls too but like our Heavenly Father prefer the intimacy that comes from a friend who chooses me. Grateful every day for the gift of choice. Thanks for linking up Laurie. #GiveMeGrace

XmasDolly said...

When I was a little girl I didn't have a doll house so I emptied one of my drawers and made doll house furniture out of dixie cups, empty spools of thread, and whatever I could find around the house, but I always asked if I could use or have it when I found something. I use to love my chalk board too to draw the scenery behind my play people. I didn't make friends well when I was a child, but I sure enjoyed pretending... and make believe.

Laurie Collett said...

Amen, crafty spices, His love for us knows no bounds.

Laurie Collett said...

Praise God that He is the Friend Who will never leave or forsake us. Greetings and blessings to you from (still!) hot, rainy Florida! But autumn should be on its way!

Laurie Collett said...

Amen, praise God for Hos many blessings -- Himself, life, friendship, and free choice! Thanks for your comment & for hosting, & God bless,

Laurie Collett said...

Hi Marie, I didn't have a doll house either, but as I transitioned from playing with dolls to displaying them, I had cabinet shelves on which I set up scenes for my dolls. I had some doll furniture, but I also repurposed household junk to make accessories and decor. It was fun being creative, first with the make-believe stories and then with the dioramas! Thanks for your comment, & may you have a blessed week,

Donald Fishgrab said...

As you said, god wanted us as his friends, so gave us freedom to choose how we relate to him. Just ass we avoid people who insist on doing things we find unpleasant, God will reject those who insist on rejecting him, but he doesn't force us to do what he asks. He will not force us to do what he wants, but he will not ignore what is offensive either. It seems like a lot of people ignore one aspect or the other.

Laurie Collett said...

Great point, Donald! He will not force His friendship on anyone, but those who reject Him will have to face the consequences of their choice.
Thanks for your comment & God bless,

Frank E. Blasi said...

Dear Laurie,
That is a very interesting article about dolls, how they can obey every fantasy in your mind, but none able to return friendship from their own will.
But I do recall one incident when I was cleaning a window of an upstairs bedroom used by a temporary lodger. She had somewhere between 20 to thirty dolls, all arranged to look out of the central pane of the window I was cleaning. With all those eyes staring straight at me, the whole scene was creepy, believe me! A perfect setting for a horror movie.
By the way, is Action Man, played with by boys, a doll?
God bless.

Laurie Collett said...

Dear Frank,
That does sound like a very creepy experience! No wonder dolls have often been featured in horror movies.
I think boys would benefit from making up stories with action figures much as girls can exercise their creativity by playing with dolls. Come to think of it, a few action figures would have definitely enlivened the stories I made up for my dolls!
God bless,

Leah Adams said...

Thankful for friends, and for the friendship of Jesus. He's the ultimate friend. Stopping by from The Loft.